I usta believe

I usta believe in the rise and the fall

Of my virtual share in computerful worlds

I usta to link all of the love in my  store

To good and bad fortune that knocked at my door

My belief was a thing, something close to my skin

A bling-ring that sparkled at arms length in spring

It would shine out so brightly as new summers begin

That I’d leave it for another as my cold winters drew in  

But now I am trying to live differently

In each breath I grow faith that so gracefully

You already fill me, and you constantly kiss me

That as you guide, love and lift me

Your all knowing self still finds time to forgive me.

Off with the Odd and on with the new.

 

BS Johnson

you past fiery elephant, you

avant-garde

grave-yard, you

long gone icon

you were my first

dead cert

third rate

box inserting

Joycean echo or, more like,

merely a bloke who chose to think and drink

and wade about in such wastage and excess

your spirit drowned on praise too slight

and the tastes of bile regurgitated

on spectacular non-success.

for even when, I safely re-bathe

in tomes of your frail egoic light

I cherish more your distinctive

scrawl of ink green

on the last page of Poems Two

than all that’s raked and faked by you

in the pages in between.

 

And now off with odd and on with a new

unexpected Autumnal ache

that leaves me tender-full within the tendrils of

Anthony Hecht’s delicious text

just discovered in the second hand

Oxfam ‘Joy of Poetry Fact and Fiction’ section

and so:

with dictionary in one hand and

with Millions of Strange ancestral skeins

Shadowing the very means of my understanding

I am deliciously dropped

bit by bit, into his wonderful past penmanship

his death eulogy for Somebody’s Life

his Greek mythologies sifting with ease beneath

The Music of the Night

A Voice, never seen,

breathes in me new life, indeed

from The Cost to The Lull through Swan Dive

and soft Epistles Green

I Feast on Stephen, and the Coming Home

to Gladness for his subtle splendid genius brimming in-between.