Rain
31 May
Refreshed or flinching into the mid-afternoon rain this is the choice of right now. Hunched while waiting I am reminded to stand upright, to remove my misting glasses, my damp leather shoes, open my chest and breathe into this ponderous dank odour, these re-infused leaves, these sweet perfumes. Toes rehydrating within the green and the softening transformation of sun drenched cracks. Wetness is earthed and electric.
As rain jumps upwards from this steaming manmade lake of Tetley tea, as my shirt darkens to mimic the flag stones, wooden benches silently sponge and seagulls swirl upon speeding wafts of invisible uppermost, weathering most, while at my side black shining ferns offer brushes of jazz percussion as they wrestle the drops to a smooth flow towards softer drips of reformation with the soil below. Children laugh, as I imagine their fights and falls into the sporadic backdrop of insistent sirens and the sedate melancholia of woodpigeon ponderings upon an a spindle of branch within this tree lined city centre refuge.
And now, I smile as beyond this rain, within and through this misting walkway a familiar if sunken torso appears. I replace my heal within my shoe. First the left, and then tottering slightly the right.
‘You ok?’ he asks
‘Yes great, you?’
And so to warmth of the hermetically sealed room and to my next jumper wearing, rain denying client. And so to the dance, the anticipatory anxiety relaxed by recounting of moments passed, relationship restored upon souls rehydrated within the connection of another 50 minute hour.
How far?
On this day and month in 1927 Gandhi wrote:
‘in spite of our knowledge of the danger and of our precarious existence, our indifference to the source of all life is excelled only by our amazing arrogance.’
And we have progressed how far?
stilled i long
Silence:
O h h
deep rooted kiss
gift me Your mist
within this
blandishment
of body and brain.
M m m
yes yes stilled i long for such and such a
feathering breath for
Prescience to soothe
this slightness of mine
enlightening tight fists
un-pounding pale hearts
to soften free beats vibrating in Time.
First year thankfulness
It is now exactly one year since I started this blog.
It began as an experiment to see if I could distil some of my daily journals into readable form. (For the last 13 years these journals have just been written for my eyes and my sanity). These 70 odd posts are the first concerted effort to share my mumblings and ponderings with others.
Although these posts are mainly offered as a practical way of me letting go, I am none-the-less touched and thankful for the number of views and for the gentle trickle of ‘likes.’
I also feel honoured to have had 18 other souls on this earth follow my output at different times over the past year.
As I don’t have any other on-line or social media accounts or presence, I am constantly surprised that my blog posts actually find their way to anyone at all.
Your encouragement has been and is appreciated and noticed. Thank you very much indeed.